Crash Into Me (Dave Matthews Band) - day 19

I’m not generally one for the music of Dave Matthews Band, but this particular song, Crash Into Me, resonates for some reason. Full nineties vibe, for certain, and less marching band like the rest of their catalog. This is a full-on Structure song; what I mean by that is it’s from a time when my life was entrenched in my job/career, working at Structure in Walt Whitman Mall. Listening to it right now as I write this, I am reminded of so many things, a lot of which need to stay buried because they’re not things of which I’m particularly proud.

If I were to liken the lyrics to my own life experiences, then I’d say it sounds as if he is singing to/about an unattainable object of his desire. At the time I was in a committed relationship and at the prime of my male sexuality, sadly two facts that could not be more disparate. All I felt was caged, purposeless, directionless. A parade of young, sexy men would walk in and out of my store on the regular and I would return to a stifled situation at the end of each day. All I had was a boy’s dream.

I made a lot of mistakes back then. As stated before, I did some things of which I am not proud. So why would I choose to celebrate a song that takes me to a questionable moment in my history? That’s one for the therapist. I just know that I like this song a lot. You may as well.