To end a countdown of 51 songs to 51, when the one in question is born 4 days before Christmas, seems incomplete without a bonus song that only gets played this time of year, but is hands-down my favorite Christmas song ever. Therefore, here is song zero, Merry Christmas, Darling. Just a few days ago, I spoke about Karen Carpenter, and the earnestness of her voice in this holiday masterpiece is why I love it so. I know I’m ending this countdown on a downer for sure. Let’s just say it’s been a challenging past few years, between losing another sibling, a mother in law, a best friend, a job I’d had for 15 years… It’s difficult, at a time when people are supposed to be joyous and celebratory, to really feel that feeling intrinsically without a shit-ton of effort. I do my best, I really do. I decorate the tree and I try to put a lot of thought into gift giving to make the recipients feel loved. But then I hear Karen Carpenter sing this song and I am immediately reminded that I can’t pick up the phone and call my mom just to say I love her, or call my sis and listen to her sing-songy voice telling me stories. I can’t call Vinny and laugh like we always did. I can’t wish any of them a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year too. So many of you know this sad feeling, this bittersweet sentiment that comes ‘round every December without them. I dedicate this song to you and to them, those who’ve left but never really leave us. Merry Christmas, my darlings.
From the historical writing archive. Original date: December 21, 2016. Recovered from local source material; editorial review is still in progress.