Did you really think this countdown wasn’t gonna have a song by George Michael? Well, technically it’s by Wham!, but whatever. I bet you can’t tell me the name of the other guy. First, let’s talk about this video. Oh my gods, that gorgeous blonde mullet bathed in glorious black and white eighties side lighting, George, all perfect with his just-large-enough hoop earrings and vivid white teeth. What a vision he was, so dark and beautiful. I literally can’t. This song came out when I was in college at the U of Scranton. I was still firmly in the closet, denying I liked music by anyone androgynous. George Michael wasn’t androgynous but he did give off that gay vibe, and admitting I liked him, to me, meant outing myself. So I would play this song alone in my dorm room, hoping no one was around to judge and put the puzzle pieces together. And I’d hope the video would come on in the background so I could look at his face. Some may argue Everything She Wants isn’t the best song by Wham!, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Great lyrics, bouncy eighties synths, so much better than Wake Me Up. But really, it’s all about this video. P.S. His name is Andrew Ridgeley. And how very dare you not know that! And his brown mullet and sad puppy eyes were almost as adorable as George’s. Almost.
From the historical writing archive. Original date: December 5, 2016. Recovered from local source material; editorial review is still in progress.